So I’m engaged

Caleb asked me to go to Side Street Pizza up in Tryon (a little pizza place that my family really likes) last Saturday for dinner about a week in advance, and from things he said and did throughout the week, I figured he was going to propose on Saturday, so I did my nails and dressed up really nice. It didn’t even occur to me that Saturday was our 15-month dating anniversary, so it would be a good day for an engagement. When he picked me up on Saturday at 2, we had some time to kill, so we went to the mall and walked around. We were walking through JCPenney and walked past the jewelry counter, and he said, ”Let’s look at rings.” So I figured he didn’t have the ring yet and it wasn’t going to be Saturday after all.

After a little longer at the mall, we drove over to a park nearby because we still had some time before dinner. We got to the park, and as we parked, almost all the other cars drove off, and nobody was in sight. Caleb suggested that we go walking on the walking trail there, and as we walked down towards the trail, I looked down and noticed that his shoe was untied, so I told him. He said, “Where’s a good spot? Let’s get down there in the shade.” (there were some trees nearby) and then proceeded to stop by a tree and tie his shoe. He then took my hand in his and started telling me how special I was to him and how much he loved me. I thought, “Aww, this is just something sweet, but I don’t know why he’s doing this because we just looked at rings, so it can’t be today.” And then he pulled the ring out of his pocket and asked me to marry him.

My mind wanted to say yes, but my mouth didn’t work, and I started crying and finally managed to say yes. I was so happy that I forgot about the ring for a moment, and when I realized that it wasn’t on my finger yet, I asked if I could see it again and put it on. We ended up walking down the walking trail, and then we started calling people to tell them the good news. After we called some people, we went to dinner, and then we went to his house and then my house to show off the ring. It was a very nice day.

So I’m dating

I also have not written much about Caleb since we started dating, and I feel like he deserves some face time in my writing. I would not have guessed that first day of class last January that I would be dating the guy who sat a row ahead of me. Sure, I knew him from freshman choir, and the previous semester, we had walked to choir together after class at 3:00. But when he messaged me on fb to say he was sorry I was sick and that I shouldn’t drop the class, I didn’t know that in three months I would be dating him. I just thought he was a nice guy. I had asked to be in the class (which wasn’t normally offered to non-minsterial students) because I wanted the teacher, and after getting it all cleared, there was no way I was going to drop the class. And thus began our relationship. Caleb and I would meet in the lobby of Alumni for lunch sometimes, and because we had two hours between the end of chapel and our class, we would just hang out and talk and maybe study. And the more often we talked, the more I knew there was something special about this guy. I liked being able to talk to him. I was comfortable with him.

And then came Living Gallery. Neither one of us had someone to go with, so one day at lunch, he asked me to go with him. And in the meantime, he asked if I wanted to go to a Bible Conference service with him. One service turned into two, and then three, and then four. He just kept showing up. I guess I was finally starting to see that this was turning into more than just friends. I was very nervous about Living Gallery. I was starting to realize I liked him, and I was hoping that this would be the one. We started eating lunch together more often and talking more. And then came that first “I like you.” Which quickly progressed to “Will you be my girlfriend?”

We started dating a year and (almost) 3 months ago. We had not quite a month together, and then we went our separate ways to camp, with very little communication (only on weekends). We got back from camp, only to say goodbye again, because he left right before my 20th birthday to travel on the fall ministry team for BJU. Those first few months were very hard, but very good for us. When he got back in November, it was surreal to actually see him in person so often, but it was so good to have him home again.

Since then, he has become my best friend, and I have grown a lot in my relationship with God because of my relationship with Caleb. As I have grown closer to him, he has pushed me toward a deeper, more intimate relationship with my God, and I really appreciate that. He has been there to gently correct and point me back when I stumbled, and he has always been a challenge to me through his spiritual maturity. He is a natural leader, and he commands respect by his character, not with loud words or by instilling fear. He is very wise, and patient, and compassionate. And he has a good sense of humor. He is not awkward in a crowd, but rather welcomes others and makes them feel like a meaningful part of the group. He knows how to be in the world, but not of the world. His discretion puts me to shame at times. And all of this is because he has allowed the Holy Spirit to work through him and use his natural talents and develop new gifts and abilities. As we continue to move toward a closer relationship, I pray that God will continue to guide him and use him to bless others as He has used him (and continues to use him) to bless me.

My Summer Update

Needless to say, my blog postings in the past year have been sparse, and since November 2, non-existent. Frankly, I have been busy. So busy that I kinda let writing drop to the side. In fact, now as I sit at my computer, I don’t really know where to begin. I like to write, but it has just been so long. Once you learn, you never lose it, but it does get rusty. So to try to start back up, I thought maybe I would just start with describing my summer for those who cared to know. I started this blog two years ago to provide a way for my family and friends to keep up with my summer camp adventures and also to provide a writing outlet for myself. However, this summer I am not writing at camp. In fact, I’m just staying at home this summer, which almost seems boring after two summers of camp. A year ago today, I had friends over after the SPP banquet to spend the night at my house. This year, one of those friends is in Austrailia. Some of my other friends are in Europe. Others are at camps or working at home, spread out across the US. And though I like being off school and working, I miss the interaction with my friends. I am getting a feeling that in a year, when we say goodbye after graduation, for some, it really will be goodbye. Never to meet again unless God should allow our paths to cross again in the future. That makes me sad, but also very thankful for my friends. And it also makes me want to make the best out of the time we have left this coming school year. We will all be going our separate ways after we march next May, which leaves not much time.

But before I get too retrospective, I also want to talk about work this summer. While taking summer school, I applied to work for the Child Development Center (now part of Bob Jones Academy) on campus, and I got the job. I have loved my job since the first day. I really can’t imagine a job better than taking care of babies all day long. I guess it brings out the mothering nature in me. It reminds me of my own desire to be a mother as I watch the babies grow and develop. And my coworkers are amazing too. I have learned so much from them about childcare and about myself. It has stretched me and pushed me in ways I wouldn’t have imagined, but it has been very good for me, and I hope that I will continue to learn through the school year and summer to prepare me for motherhood and for life.

The Implications of Stewardship, Part 1

While we love to enjoy the things God gives to us throughout our lives, sometimes we fail to realize that we have obligations to God. He has entrusted us with so much, and with privilege comes responsibility. Chapel today and circumstances in the past few days really got me thinking about this. I came up with three implications of stewardship. There are probably more, but these are the three that stuck out in my mind. I include the first two now, the last one to follow, hopefully soon.

• Excellence: “A Passion for Thee,” “Living for Jesus”

Because Dr. Polson did a fine job in chapel today of presenting our duty to pursue excellence, I will not cover that now. But I would strongly encourage those who did not hear his sermon to listen to it here.

• Humility/Service: “Thy Way, Not Mine, O Lord”/”Make Me a Blessing”

We have nothing that God has not given us. As sinners, we deserve only God’s wrath. We were all on the same plane, all equals in God’s sight: all sinners worthy of eternal punishment (Rom. 6:23). But because of His great love and mercy, God not only provided a way to forgive our sins but also has provided good things for us. The greatest gift man could ever receive was given in the form of Jesus Christ, the Incarnate Word (John 1:14). The Son of Man, and the Son of God. He gave up the glory He enjoyed in heaven to become man, live a perfect life—an example of humility (Phil. 2:5-8), and die a perfect death—and not just any death; the death of the cross, again an example in humility. God poured out His wrath on the Son, and then He put His stamp of approval on Christ’s sacrifice by raising Him from the dead. It was by the greatest sacrifice of all that God showed His love and forgave our sins once and for all (Rom. 5:8). God’s goodness could have ended here. He was in no way obligated to us. And providing forgiveness was far more than we deserved. He would have been perfectly just in stopping right there. But He didn’t. God loves us so much that He provides our daily needs and then adds extra blessings on top of that (Psalm 68:19). Because everything we have is from God, we have no room for boasting (Rom. 3:21-28). We have no room for pride. We have no room for obligating God (Dan. 4:34-35). Because He has provided more than we deserve, we must be thankful for what He has blessed us with and content with what He has chosen to withhold. This excludes envy and bitterness. If God chooses to give others more of something or chooses to take away something from us, that is His prerogative, and we must with Job humbly fall at His feet and say, “The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”  (Job 1:21) He seeks our good, and we can rely on His love that will never do anything that is harmful but pursues refinement, ultimately to glorify Himself and bring us good (Rom. 8:28). Instead of envy or strife, out of humility should flow a desire to humbly serve others and use what God has given us to edify fellow believers (Phil. 2:1-4)

Week Five

It’s hard to believe that it’s already halfway through the summer. It seems like we only got here last week, and before we know it, we’ll be packing to leave to go home again. How the time flies!

This past week has really been rough on the waitress crew. About week five, everyone begins to feel exhaustion set in, and we had four waitresses out sick this week. Although we had some counselors (who were former waitresses) helping out, trying to cover for the sick girls and not get sick ourselves was quite a task. So far we’ve managed, and the girls who were sick have recovered, but I’m trying to be as healthy as possible and get as much rest as possible.

On Monday, I got my aisle assignment and found out that I would be serving the lead counselors, staff that eats second shift, and one camper table. Well, nobody warned me that one of the full time staff members, Willie (who eats second shift with his family), would persistently ask for a cookie Monday night at dinner, so I wasn’t prepared and couldn’t find a cookie for him. Normally he doesn’t ask again (because obviously the second time you’re normally prepared with a cookie), but Tuesday lunch he came again and asked for a cookie a second time. This time I was prepared, and I got a chocolate chip cookie for him. It was really funny.

Tuesday night I got to counsel a girl named Ariel. As I talked to her, something about what she was telling me just sounded funny, but I couldn’t place my finger on it. She kept going off on rabbit trails and avoiding questions, and finally her counselor came over and we tried to counsel her together. It got to be 11 and we still hadn’t made any progress, so Kim (the counselor) sent Ariel in to the Activity Center to use the restroom so that we could talk for a minute, and she explained that Ariel liked to make up stories and lie to get attention. Her salvation testimony was very shaky, so we both assume she wasn’t saved. I got a chance to talk to Kim again this morning, and apparently Ariel got saved on Wednesday night. God is so good!

Wednesday afternoon I went to the lake for the first time this summer, and I took the advanced swim test. Afterwards I felt horrible, but at least that’s out of the way. My lungs still haven’t fully recovered from the respiratory problems I had from December to April, and the advanced swim test just served to aggravate them further, so I’m trying to take it easy for a while so that they can at least partially heal. I also sat on the dock for a while, so I got a nice sunburn on my shoulders. It’s just now starting to not hurt, and so I’m being careful and rubbing lotion on them as much as possible. While I was at the lake, I worked the water trolley (because no counselors had come up to work it yet), and I have come to the firm conclusion that my fear of heights is pretty much set. I’ve tried so many times to do the things that test my fear while I’m at the Wilds, and none of them have helped, so I won’t be doing them again. But at least I can say that I’ve tried.

Friday afternoon, I got a chance to do s’mores with my prayer cabin (and their brother cabin), and afterwards, while the other girls went tubing, I got some good one on one time with one of the girls at the craft shop. She wanted to know if I could be her counselor next summer, and I had to tell her that unfortunately, I probably won’t be coming back next summer to work. She and I formed a special connection, and Saturday morning, it was hard to see her go. Well, it seems to happen every week—there’s always a storm around supper time every Friday night, and this Friday was no exception. The difference this time was that the storm started during second shift, so the problem was not with trying to get the kids in from the rain second shift but rather keeping them in the dining hall for 20 minutes after the shift was supposed to end. This actually was very nice for clearing, because normally clearing tables Friday night is a pain because all the campers are up cheering right before final scoring and aren’t paying attention to clearing. However, because we had twenty extra minutes, we actually got completely cleared, and the four tables that were staff tables were empty (because the staff had left before the sirens started), so we got to reset them, leaving my aisle buddy and me free to set one table and them help everyone else who had to wait to reset until the campers left. It was actually the easiest meal to clear so far this summer.

This weekend, I got to attend a family reunion with a friend. The rest of her family (except her grandmother) is in Charleston right now and because she didn’t know a lot of her extended family, I offered to go with her. We went to Ryan’s, and we had a good time meeting her family and getting a chance to minister to them. Afterwards we spent the evening picking up a few things at Walmart and then staying at her grandma’s house in Brevard. Yesterday (Sunday) the op staff choir sang as the special music at church this morning, and our a capella group sang again for the evening service. I really have enjoyed going to the church here, and it’s almost become a home away from my home church.

I also have a huge praise/blessing to share with those who will be reading this. Since the end of last summer I have been lactose intolerant, which is especially hard to deal with at camp. One weekend I was talking with another girl who had been gluten intolerant, and she said that because of the food we serve at the Wilds, she started praying in February (when she got accepted) that she would get over her allergy for gluten, and God allowed her to eat gluten again. After talking with her, I felt impressed to start praying that I too would get over my allergy, and I asked another friend to start praying too. This past Monday, I ran out of Lactaid (my special milk), and I had forgotten to get more this
past weekend while I was out, so I decided that now was as good a time as any to see if I was over my lactose intolerance. I had milk in my cereal, and had just a little of it (mostly just what was soaked into my cheerios). My stomach felt fine afterwards, so I had a glass of milk the next day, and I was still fine. All week I have had milk and some cheese, and my stomach has been fine. I feel like sharing this with everyone because it’s so obviously a fingerprint of God in my life. My God is the Great Physician, and He has seen fit to heal me. May His name be praised!

Week Three (but my first blog update)

In the midst of keeping my prayer partners updated this summer, I forgot about keeping my blog updated. Although it would be hard to go back and talk about all that’s happened in the past few weeks, I will do my best to keep my blog updated from now on.

We had several interesting incidents in the dining hall this week. On Tuesday morning, after first shift, while I was clearing, I was taking a tray of leftover food back to dishwash to dump, and I slipped on a slick spot on my aisle and ended up falling on my knees and dumping the food all over the floor. I also somehow banged up my elbow and went into shock for a moment. My knees are okay by now, but my elbow is still a little sore. Thankfully, it was not too bad of a bruise, so it should be completely better soon. That night, we lost power around 4 pm, and the first shift meal was supposed to start at 4:45. Most of the food had not been cooked yet, and because we had no power, we would not be able to wash the dishes in between shifts, which is crucial because we don’t have enough extras to do without washing all of the first shift dishes. Just as we were about to put out paper products, the power came back on, and the cooks frantically pulled together the meal with only a 15 minute delay. They definitely deserve thanks for their quick thinking and flexibility that night.

My job this week entailed serving first shift, dumping leftover food this week after second shift, and then cleaning glass (windows and doors that campers had left their face and handprints all over) after second shift. Dumping was so much fun, especially Friday night when the dishwashers discovered that the trash can was too full right before the food starting coming in. This required that the trash can be taken out to be dumped in the dumpster, which meant that all the leftover food (which that night was chicken parmesan, salad, rolls, and cake with frosting and sprinkles) had to be left out in the dining hall. Getting creative in dishwash with dumping was quite fun, and I really enjoyed that part of my job. Cleaning glass however was not as much fun, but God used it to help me with patience and love once again. I am glad though that next week I will have a new aisle assignment.

On Thursday night, I got to visit the office of Ken Collier with one of the other waitresses who is a history major and knows Ken very well. What I didn’t know is that he is a big Civil War buff and has memorabilia all over his office. He has weapons, a musket ball, documents, paintings, a Civil War figurine chess set, several busts, and lots of books about or from the Civil War. It was neat to get an insight into the mind of our greatly respected and servant-minded director.

My prayer partner cabin girls were amazing. They were like CITers or an honor cabin. I ate with them at meals this week because I worked the other shift and so ate the same shift they did, and it was definitely a stretching (but rewarding) experience to get to know them. I sat with them at services as well, and I went to give cabin devotions on Thursday. My prayer partner was still out counseling a girl from after the service, so I sat around with the other girls and we talked. I told them about myself and shared some pictures I had with me, and I was going to share my testimony as cabin devotions, but one of the girls jumped the gun and went ahead and asked how I got saved, so I had a great lead-in to my devotional. It was encouraging to see that the girls were so hungry for the things of God, and we had a great time talking about how good God is. Among the girls in my cabin, not many decisions were made, but they were very open and receptive to God’s word all week and a great refreshment to me spiritually.

We had a tough group of campers this week. Many of the campers made no bones about the fact that they weren’t saved, and many were living very wicked lifestyles and didn’t want to give it up for God. It broke my heart to see just how far their sin had taken them and to know that they knew the truth and still didn’t care. For instance one boy said that he knew he was going to hell, but he wasn’t concerned about it. This was also the biggest week of the summer, which made it difficult for the counselors, especially with multiple “bad kids” in their cabin. But God was good, and though we are definitely more worn out after this week trying to keep campers in line and somewhat discouraged about those who left without making decisions about God, we know that the same God who brought them to camp is working on them in their everyday lives and is more loving and patient with them than we could ever be.

We also had our first session of CIT start this week, and having those campers here definitely helped to counterbalance the hardness of the campers coming from rough home situations. They showed great enthusiasm for the Word of God and were open to God’s spirit of conviction in their lives. Having them dispersed throughout the teen cabins next week will be very good encouragement to the other teen campers and will provide opportunities for the CITers to put into practice what they have been learning in their sessions.

The messages this week were astounding. Rich Tozour was the speaker, and even though his messages were really long, they were always really good and convicting.  His concern for the campers was very evident, and he made great effort to build rapport with the campers, participating in the games, playing basketball, and making himself available to talk with those who had questions about something he had said in a session or service. Because we did have a rough group of campers, the response wasn’t as great as we’ve had in other weeks, but even so, out of the 70 campers that we knew were unsaved, twenty responded Tuesday night for salvation, and many other kids made spiritual steps this week at camp because of the convicting of the Holy Spirit during the services.

This weekend, I got to come home to see my family for Nathan’s 13^th birthday this past Thursday, and he’s actually grown enough in the last two weeks that he is now taller than me, which makes him very happy. I also get a chance to see Caleb, who is in town to get his picture taken for the fall ministry team that he’s traveling on. I’m looking forward to next week as well, because Katie is coming back up with me tomorrow (Sunday) night to attend camp next week, and she’s going to be on my aisle, so I will see her a lot during the week.

Puppets, Puzzles, and Prose

I haven’t written prose in a long time, but Wednesday night’s lesson in Kids 4 Truth was very thought-provoking, and I couldn’t pass up a chance to revive my prose skills. ☺

Our lives are not like puppets. Our speaker brought in a dog puppet, and all the kids got to try it out. That dog puppet will never do any of the bad things that real dogs do: tearing up things, making messes, etc. But that dog puppet will also never be able to do anything good that dogs do, like showing affection, providing company and enjoyment, etc. God did not create me to be an automaton. By giving me a free will, He gets more glory from my obedience and love. A puppet has to obey; the puppeteer that forces an object to yield to his will is not nearly so impressive as One who could control but chooses not to force Himself on His creation. I praise Him out of choice. True, I may disappoint Him often, but the fact that I can enjoy His presence and choose to seek His pleasure reveals the magnificence of His divine love and grace, and yes, even His sovereignty.
Our lives are like puzzles. Given a piece here in the corner, a piece there in the middle, or one over there on the side, we do not comprehend the totality of the picture. But that does not make its existence any less real. God created the picture of my life, cut it up into pieces, and gives me pieces one at a time, showing me where the pieces should go by the guidelines of imprinted shapes on the blank cardboard backing (His Word). Because I have a free will, I can choose to place those pieces wherever I want. I could purposefully put them in the wrong spot; I could throw them away, thinking that they don’t really fit into the bigger picture. But isn’t it foolish for me to assume that I know what the picture is supposed to look like when I only have a few pieces? Isn’t it foolish to assume that I know where a piece goes better than the One who created the puzzle? Although I may not understand how a certain situation fits into the big picture of my life, I must choose to trust the One who mapped out my life before I was even conceived. He has only good intentions and longs to bless me as His child (Psalm 139; Matt. 7:11). Truly,

“His way is perfect—His way is perfect! Though I don’t understand His wise and loving plan, His way is perfect—His way is perfect! Take my life and make a vessel, purified. God makes no mistakes—His way is best.”

An open letter to the mice in my house

To all the mice that have invaded the residence:

Although up until now we have wished to do you no harm, you have rebuffed our polite requests and entreaties that you take up residence elsewhere, and you have behaved yourselves in a fashion unbecoming for guests. Therefore, be forewarned that you are no longer welcomed on the premises. We would like to take this opportunity to inform you of the restraining order that has been issued against you; we have accordingly installed security (in the form of mousetraps) around the premises to see that you no longer harass us, and this time these precautions are deadly, not just inconvenient for you. There are no more second chances. Four of your compatriots have already lost their lives because they did not heed our warning. Take this matter seriously—you must leave or suffer the consequences. Thank you.

Signed,

The General Management

Opera is over . . . what do I do with myself now?

Because obviously I now have too much free time on my hands.

I loved opera. Of course the performances went by too quickly for me, and I didn’t get all the pictures I wanted (or the guest artists’ signatures). But I had an amazing time with the McGonigal girls and all my other friends in the opera (like Joe, with whom I tag-teamed the roles of Samson/Dalila/High Priest, but that’s another whole blogpost story). And I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. I still get to see the McGonigals every so often (such as last night, when we ate dinner together and next Wednesday for a picnic lunch), and of course I keep my starbursts handy for Joe. But now that opera is over, I have so much free time when I would have normally had rehearsals. So what do I do with it? Well, mostly I do homework ahead of time (so I’m not getting it done at the last minute anymore) and I’m preparing for my sophomore platform on March 30. And Bible Conference is this week. Which means spiritual refreshment, sleeping in, getting homework done, platform prep, and some pleasure reading, starting with “The Chosen.” Yay.

My Hebrew Family

Wednesday night was our first opera rehearsal in costume, first tech rehearsal, and first rehearsal with orchestra. Big night, needless to say. And once again let me say that I love my costume. I do need to figure out something to do with my hair before tomorrow night though. It was kinda in the way Wednesday night. Anyway, the rehearsal went pretty well. We had to stop and start a lot because we had to adjust to the orchestra playing instead of just a piano. I’m starting to pick out words and phrases in the French of arias, so even though I did get to see the subtitles once, I know more of what is being said so that I can have better reactions. Like reacting to being called a blasphemer by Samson, being called conquered people by Abimelech, reacting to the rallying cry of Samson, etc. Tomorrow night, we have picture night, and I get to see my little girl Rebekah (Erika’s chosen Hebrew name) again. Our whole Hebrew family chose Hebrew names Wednesday night. Charisse is Sarah, Jamie is Jemima (aka Imma), Erika is Rebekah, I’m Hepzibah (also an Imma) , and Caleb is Ish-Be-Be-Nob (aka Abba), Dustin is Uncle Boaz, and Ethan is Uncle Manasseh. And we speak only French to one another on stage. Which means that more often than not Caleb is repeating phrases or words from our chorus, leading to giggles from me because I know what he’s actually saying in French, and it’s really funny. I may teach them all some phrases in French so they don’t make me laugh come performance night . . .